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Louis Rossman Exits The Drama of GrapheneOS
A real-world example of what I talk about in theory
So, Kat in Josh’s Disaffected Discord Server shared this video from Louis Rossmann because of our shared interest in personality disorders. I was already subscribed to Louis for his work on right to repair, which refers to the right to repair the products we purchased. For some reason that’s not the default state and certain companies want to make you use them to repair things we’ve purchased from them.
But, this Substack is about the Drama Triangle. This video is a great example of a couple of things I talk about here.
Louis starts by saying he’s promoted the GrapheneOS project in the past and shows a video he did on the project debunking some myths. If you only looked at Louis’ previous videos you would think he was a supporter of the project.
So, there was a video by Techlore (who Louis does not know), which also starts out by saying Techlore has promoted the GrapheneOS project in the past. The username strcat is used by Daniel Micay the Lead Developer/Owner of GrapheneOS.
The Savior Role
Daniel (strcat) tends to say that he would “love to be able to focus on advancing GrapheneOS instead of defending the project.” First, this is a savior mentality type of statement. I wrote previously that people who feel as if they need to “save” a “victim” tend to have the weight of the world on their shoulders. You can see that Daniel complains about how difficult this is.
He has painted his project as a “victim” that needs his actions to “defend” or “rescue” it from persecutors, the people who would spread mis- or disinformation about the project.
In the Techlore video, there are screenshots of texts from Daniel (strcat) that sound like “high-school drama” as Techlore calls it. Louis Rossman left a comment on the Techlore video saying, “This is informative, and unfortunate,” which might have been missed had it not been for Techlore deciding to pin it to the top of the comments.
So, Daniel (strcat) contacted Louis about this five-word comment. Daniel says he doesn’t understand why Louis left a “supportive comment.” He goes on to suggest that the screenshots were doctored, although I found Tweets that had been pictured still up on Twitter. That doesn’t mean there wasn’t some doctored stuff (I certainly won’t check everything) and Louis has asked for proof that some of it was fake. No proof has come.
Guilt By Association Fallacy
Daniel (strcat) accused Louis of being complicit in swatting attacks because of his five-word comment. Because Daniel considers Techlore to be a “persecutor” of him and his project (the “victim”), and because Louis will not see things through that Drama Triangle perspective, Daniel has nowhere else to put Louis but in the “persecutor” role too.
See, Daniel can only see persecutor, victim, and savior/ally roles. If Louis won’t take on an ally (savior) role with him to protect the project from TechLore, and if Louis doesn’t see the project as a victim, then Daniel has to put Louis into the “persecutor” role. This is because Daniel cannot see outside of the drama triangle. He has black-or-white thinking (splitting).
Louis knows that his five-word comment could in no way be construed as being complicit in swatting. If people chose to swat or not it will have nothing to do with him. But, I’ve explained above why Daniel would say such a thing. I’ve also guilt by association before concerning Libs of TikTok.
What You Resist Persists
Another thing that I say all the time is that what you focus on with resistance will persist in your life. As you fight against something, you keep it in your life. The drama triangle roles are co-dependent in this way. A “savior” is getting some sort of emotional need met by playing “savior” and does not really want the “victim” to succeed. The person would have an identity crisis not being looked at as this championing hero. So there’s a subconscious desire inside which makes you act in self-sabotaging ways.
Daniel (strcat) has stated a few times that he feels the need to “defend” the Graphene OS project. The word “defending” should be a keyword for you to ask yourself if that person is playing “savior” or “warrior.”
Yes, it can be used in real situations where someone actually needs help, but most of the time it’s used when the person sees someone (who could take responsibility) as being unable to defend themselves or survive without “defense.” I understand a project can’t defend itself like a human, but if it’s a good project it won’t need constant defense and would withstand criticism and survive.
So, we know Daniel (strcat) views the project as needing to be defended against critics. Because of a five-word comment, he reached out to Louis to have the comment removed because it hurts the GrapheneOS project. The end result of this engagement is that (reasonable) Louis decides to make a video saying he uninstalled GrapheneOS and doesn’t feel comfortable having it on his phone. He makes a great case for why he feels uncomfortable in having the operating system designed by Daniel on his phone.
After watching the video I would feel uncomfortable having the GrapheneOS on my phone. Because the lead developer who created the operating system can change the code with updates. It’s clear to me that he sees himself as a “savior.” I know people with a savior mentality will do anything to “get at” the “persecutor” and they’re more than willing to say anyone who isn’t with them is against them (a persecutor too). You wouldn’t want someone that mentally unstable in charge of your phone operating system. So, now you know and might be feeling a little bit more uncomfortable with it too.
See how it spreads? This is the Streisand effect, where the more you try to stop something from spreading, the more it spreads. My point in writing this isn’t to damage the GrapheneOS company. It’s to share ways in which what I talk about in theory shows up in reality. It just so happens that this is a manifestation of Daniel’s worries about his project getting bad press.
When you act like something or someone is a victim, the more you try to “save” it the worse it gets. If Daniel hadn’t contacted Louis about this five-word comment, very few people would have seen it, and the only videos on Louis’ channel about GrapheneOS would have been positive in nature.
What’s great about Louis’ video is that he understands this, likely not all in my terms, but he gets what’s going on and just says, “No.” He explains he’s not going to deal with this drama and correctly points out that Daniel is playing “victim” when he brings up his “autism too.” I would say that Louis may have dragged out the conversation a little longer than I would have. But he did a great job standing firm. Louis wrote:
Daniel, There is this pattern of you bullying people, and then wrapping yourself in a cloak of victimhood. If you are the victim, then all of your outbursts and accusations are justifiable. They're not. This isn't normal. You are claiming I am complicit in people trying to murder you because I made a youtube comment on a video where someone pointed to chat screenshots of you displaying very similar behavior that you are here. That's insane.
Above all, I am genuinely offended at you saying "and if you have an issue with autistic people communicating and thinking differently than you, that's your issue" - as someone on the spectrum, and as someone who has best friends on the spectrum, autism is NOT an excuse to bully people, nor does it justify acting like this.
You've acted like this towards me via email last year, in this matrix room, and in chat today - long enough to have gotten the most basic therapy. I felt bad for you before. I do not anymore.
I made you an offer in good faith to discuss all of your concerns in a video - but I am not doing that with someone who goes out of their way to manipulate me as you have here. You set things up as if I have ruined a relationship, but if I do what you say, I can "earn" being in good standing with you, as if I am supposed to eat the breadcrumbs you lay for me and chase them. No Daniel, you don't get to falsely accuse me of being complicit in people trying to kill you, and then get to have a conversation with me on my channel - that isn't how this works.
I am leaving this room, and would ask that you refrain from talking to me ever again.
So I write this article in hopes that if you ever get put into the “persecutor” role by someone in the future you will understand why they did it. And I hope that you know you can disagree with them and walk away. You don’t have to continually argue or try to defend yourself.
Nothing you say or do will get you into their good graces again unless you agree with their drama, that they are a victim or savior, and whoever else is the persecutor. You don’t want to get into their drama though because it will be easy to get onto their bad side again, and it might have nothing to do with what you’ve said or done. They will use the flimsiest illogical “reasoning” like the guilt-by-association fallacy.
Don’t Take Their Word
Also, if you know someone like this and they’ve talked with you about someone else, please remember that these people have a tendency to oversell their complaints. That means if they have complained about another person you do not know, you shouldn’t take their opinion with a grain of salt; you probably shouldn’t even take their opinion on others at all. These sorts of people may completely make things up and unintentionally or intentionally gaslight you.
In the case of Louis, if you just met Daniel, he would tell you that Louis is complicit in or promoting the harassment of him and his project. Because you’ve read this, you would not believe that. But if you hadn’t, you still shouldn’t believe it. Whenever you see someone acting like a savior or victim, you shouldn’t believe their stories. You should ask for proof and make up your own mind after viewing the proof.
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