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My Few Hours as a Victim & How I Turned It Around
You can and should choose your perspective.
I have had an unusually busy time at my other job recently. More responsibilities were put on me and for a few hours, a day at work, I was feeling like a victim. At least I know when I am feeling that way and how to get out of it.
I wrote a little rant. I think it was reasonable. What was going on was not “right” in the sense that we have rules about things and this situation was breaking all the rules. And because of breaking those rules, I was the one who had to pick up the slack.
Just because it’s true, doesn’t mean I have to give my attention to it. Just because it was true doesn't mean that I can’t think about it differently. I knew when I got off of work that day that I should listen to some music that I love. I knew that I should meditate or relax a little bit. I did those things because I care about how I feel.
You should care about how you feel. You should remember that you have the power to change your perspective and lift yourself up when you’re down. Just because you could have a pity party doesn’t mean you should.
Maybe I didn’t need a rant. But I did it anyway. I think it was a sort of detoxification of my mind, just letting all the toxic thoughts out. After that rant was all written out, I could now focus on starting anew to see this from a fresh perspective.
Shifting your thoughts to a higher perspective is always easier in the morning after catching some sleep. As I got ready the next morning, I thought about what I could do to help myself feel better. I thought maybe I should find my necklace that has a pad for essential oils, so I can sniff lilac (my favorite scent) during the day, to lift my spirts as I deal with the craziness. I didn’t have time to find it. But when I got into work, I was given a bouquet of flowers in appreciation.
“Ah,” I thought, “God is working through her, giving me what I truly desire,” and I believe that it was because I had chosen to see this from a new perspective and was starting to go with the flow again. Apparently, I was miswanting the “fake” flower scent, and was really wanting to smell fresh flowers. We don’t often know what we really want. I could have been upset about not having time to find my necklace, but I took it in stride because I know about miswanting and was going with the flow.
How Am I Not a Victim?
As I was driving in that morning, I had asked God (or my inner being/higher self) to see it from a new perspective. “How was I not a victim?” The answer came as “divine inspiration.”
Oh, I was not a victim, because this was an opportunity for me to see how capable I am. This was a confidence building exercise for me. I had handled everything that needed to be handled and I had done it with ease and expertise. Things I absolutely would have hated doing in the past came easily. I amazed myself with how well I had gotten through everything.
I could see myself as a victor instead of a victim while riding into work. I was handed flowers as a reward. Sure, maybe I would have gotten flowers regardless, but I wouldn’t have viewed them as a reward had I not changed my perspective. Had I still been feeling like a victim, I may have seen them as pity flowers, rather than reward flowers.
Your perspective matters a lot. And, whenever you are feeling like a victim, you can ask yourself, “How am I not a victim here?” In mindfulness and meditation, the answer can come to you. It doesn’t mean the other view is not true. It just means you can choose to see it from another higher perspective that feels better.
You are free to choose your perspective. And you have the choice of feeling like a victim and perpetuating the drama triangle. Do you want to do that just because the situation is “true?” Or do you want to change your perspective, view this as a challenge to overcome, and see yourself as a victor instead?
It’s up to you. You’re the one who has to live with the feelings of powerlessness or not. If things don’t go right or according to plan, you can absolutely have a pity party, but if you do, you’re just increasing your unhappiness for a while, rather than allowing yourself to feel better sooner. You always have the ability to try to see it from a fresh perspective that gives you a feeling of being empowered instead.
I didn’t need to feel like a victim at any point. I let that go on for hours. I take responsibility for that. It was no one else's responsibility to change the way I feel, because no one can get into my head and perceive for me.
I could be upset with myself that I let it go for hours, but then I would feel like a victim to myself (the persecutor). No, I might have had a pity party for days in the past. I could grumble about this for weeks and hold onto resentment and turn anger into wrath. But I turned this around very quickly considering my old self and I take it as a great sign that I am mentally evolving and becoming resilient.
You can think of yourself sitting next to a fire. If a little spark comes off and lands on your shirt and you swat it away or snuff it out, no harm done. But if you ignore it, it will spread and trouble will come.
Or think of it like your mind is a garden. Negative thoughts, like “So and so is persecuting me. This isn’t supposed to be my responsibility,” can be allowed to be to be sown in that garden and allowed to grow into bad fruit. Or you can weed them out quickly and plant more positive thoughts, such as, “this was a great opportunity to show my mastery.”
The Hanged Man
Are you wondering about the hanged woman thumbnail for this post? It represents feeling like you’re strung up when it is really a chance for a new perspective to gain insight. You are always able to change your mind. That’s where your power is.
This post is written for you all to see that you have another choice. You are not required to feel like a victim just because something bad is true. From multiple perspectives contradictory things can be true and you have the choice to change perspectives.
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