My PVD has me feeling like a Victim

How I'm trying to find a feeling of power instead

Posterior vitreous detachment (PVD) happens to most everyone so long as they live long enough. It’s not considered to be an eye health problem, but rather an aging issue. The only time this is considered an eye health problem is if the detachment of vitreous pulls on the retina and tears or or detaches the retina.

In this video, the The Floater Doctor, James H. Johnson MD, says that PVD is seen in about 25% of 60 year olds, and 60% of 80 year olds. I’m 45. It’s happened to both of my eyes now. I first had it in my right eye when I was 43¹. Once it happens in one eye, it usually happens to the second eye in about 1 to 2 years. My first vitreous detachment was around October 22, 2023, and the second one was around April 19, 2026. It was about 2 years, 5 months, 19 days between them. In other words, I should have been expecting this but wasn’t told to expect it. I’m angry.

If this is going to happen to most everyone, why isn’t it discussed in health classes? Why did none of my eye doctors warn me that this may happen one day? Especially considering that having high myopia (nearsightedness) can cause this to happen earlier in life. According to this being a woman can bring it on earlier too, and B6 supplementation can increase the likelihood as well. I am sure I’ve taken plenty of B6. And when it happens earlier, the downsides are worse. The membrane is more hazy the earlier it happens and then the floaters from it are much more noticeable.

You can get a good visual of what happens from this video, but I described mine as if I had large strands of hair sitting in front of my eyes that I couldn’t brush away. You can try to recreate that feeling by just sticking a large strand of hair and then not moving it away and see how annoying that can be while trying to read or drive.

Expectations

I expect more from doctors. I guess that’s part of my problem. If I didn’t expect them to warn patients about what may be coming then I wouldn’t be so damn disappointed and angry. I expect common courtesy that isn’t actually common these days as well.

I went to my now retired eye doctor for my right eye’s PVD. After talking with the retinal specialist I have learned that I probably had a hemorrhage back then as well. By the way, “50%-70% of the patients with PVD complicated by vitreous hemorrhage have retinal tears. In contrast, only 7%-12% of the patients with PVD without vitreous hemorrhage present with a retinal tear.” National Library of Medicine So, I had a really large chance of having a retinal tear in 2023 and I wasn’t told that. I wasn’t actually told about the percent chances this year either. I just looked it up today. I was told of an increased likelihood and to look out for danger signs of a retinal tear or detachment. But other than that, I don’t find the eye doctors to be very proactive in discussing the issue with patients.

I had more bleeding in my left eye when the PVD happened last month. I had a trip planned and I had to cancel it. I went to the retinal specialist to get it looked at. I had to be seen again in about 4-5 weeks to make sure that the rest of the vitreous detached without tearing or detaching my retina.

To say I have been stressed out is putting it mildly. And I came with a list of questions², concerns, and wanting to know if I can do anything to help my eyes heal or to reduce the likelihood of problems. I keep getting told that there’s not much to do. I asked about eating healthier and he said, “Eating healthier is always a good idea, but it won’t do much for this.”

Powerlessness

Well, don’t I feel powerless? I hope he’s wrong. I’ve found some things to try, like supplements for eye health and a salad smoothie thing I’m trying out. I’m looking for anything that I can do that can help me to heal.

I was told at my last appointment with the specialist that since my vitreous has detached from the back of the eye (and thus the retina), the chance of a retinal tear or detachment has gone down dramatically. So I left feeling as if that was good news. But I have health anxiety and I was told to keep looking at my Amsler grid.

Continually looking for problems can cause you to manifest them, even if they were not already there. That’s why the woke have been able to describe multiple “microagressions” that other people don’t see or accept as being real problems.

I hate having to look at the grid each day and I do have concerns about what I see so I have another specialist appointment in about a week again. I wasn’t told why I had to look for these warning signs. So I asked AI to look at my doctor’s write up. I have an Epiretinal Membrane (basically scar tissue) on both retinas. Those can cause distortion and blurriness over time as it sits on top of the retina. If the specialist was local, this might be less of an issue, but every time I see him I have to go to the Twin Cities, which means 3.5 hours of driving there. Just thinking about doing that if I had an emergency freaks me out as well.

I asked Teal Swan a question (via a form for her then upcoming worskshop) and she seemed to answer it straight in video format that weekend. I was terrified so I basically asked about what to do with that terror. I did work on the worst case scenarios prior to the video coming out. I talked with my family and we came up with a plan. Even someone at work offered that we would find someone to drive me to the cities if I needed it. It helped at the time.

But I’m still working through fear and I don’t know what the worst case scenario is any more. I don’t know what I’m so afraid of. If there is a problem with distortion they may do a surgery, perhaps even the vitrectomy that may get rid of floaters, but comes with an increased likelihood of retinal tears and detachments as well. There is some sort of cost/benefit analysis going on in my doctor’s head that I’m unaware of.

Besides the floater issues, the things I notice only appear when I close one eye and look out of the other. In actual vision the other eye compensates for any issues that may arise. I can read and see relatively clearly (forgetting about the floaters). At some point that may not be the case. But for some reason the doctors want to know when it gets bad enough to change the Amsler grid in one eye.

I think (logically) that this means that it should not be an emergency to get me in if I notice distortion. It’s not like last month when I may have been dealing with a retinal tear/detachment situation where time really matters or else you go blind. But if I need surgery, then that increases the chances for other problems down the line. I hate the idea of living with this hanging over my head.

Although the surgery should reduce³ the floaters. I know that I have been told over time your brain can block them out or they can break apart and fall down out of sight. But it’s been over 2 years with my right one and although it’s less noticeable, it’s still there and bothersome. I think the larger one(s) in my left eye are breaking apart a little bit. So that may clear up a bit more as time goes by.

Prevention

The best way to not have these issues is to prevent them from ever occurring. Remember that most everyone will have vitreous detachment at some point, but you want it to be later in life rather than earlier.

If a child or adult is just getting their first glasses, they may want to consider looking into treatment before using glasses. Glasses can cause the eyes to be more lazy and get worse over time. And myopia changes the eye form over time which increases the likelihood of an earlier vitreous detachment. There are 3 science backed ways to improve eyesight:

They’re not going to help me with my high myopia, but for those who are on the verge of needing glasses, they may be the way to go instead.

I’ve got a red light panel but wear dark glasses over my eyes when using it. I think I need to get something stronger for over the eyes. But that’s because those red light panels are not built for eyes. There are, however, a Photobiomodulation devices built for eyes:

A couple of devices from that video are: Valeda PBM and Aruna Light, both are for Dry Age-Related Macular Degeneration (AMD). I believe the Valeda device has to be in the eye doctor’s office. The Aruna Light is for personal purchases.

I’ve been told my retina is very light (blond) which makes it not as good as keeping out Ultraviolet light as other people’s retinas. I’m hesitant to buy the Aruna Light due to the cost and being unsure of how bright it is. I have light sensitivity which causes a bunch of after images if something is too bright.

Vitamins

I’m currently taking Liposomal Astaxanthin drops, B1 gummies, Zeaxanthin (powder), Lutein (powder), and Beta Carotene (powder). I’ve been snacking on carrots at work and I’m using a Salad smoothie now too to try to get in some dark greens because I don’t like salads and find they take too much work and I often buy ingredients and they go bad. These smoothies are a time & hassle saver for me.

If you’re interested, Dr. Berg did do a video on things you can do (supplements, etc) to improve your eyesight.

Doing Something

I have written this because I want to pass on my knowledge and if someone can prevent themselves from ever going down this path by listening and taking some actions, then I’m glad to be of service. It helps to do something. Doing something to improve our lives and the world helps us to not feel so damn powerless.

I’ve been run through the wringer the past month with anxiety. A lot of the times you will hear people tell you to push through whatever you’re going through that is making you anxious and try to just ignore the worries. But in this case the doctors are telling me to look at the warning signs and be worried. I don’t know how much more of that my body can take at this point.

When you get anxious your body goes into fight or flight mode and doesn’t feel like it can repair things. So I have to somehow find a way to get into the parasympathetic (rest & digest) mode. I may go walking in the park while listening to good music. I have to wear really dark sunglasses now. But I have some.

I’ve also been trying to question my beliefs around my fears. Such as yesterday, when I saw some new floaters in my left eye. I was supposed to tell the doctors about new floaters, but I think that these were the larger one(s) breaking down into smaller parts. My initial scared belief of “I see new floaters, that means vitreous is still detaching… or maybe I have a hemorrhage” got questioned. First, It isn’t a hemorrhage because when I did have a hemorrhage and I closed the non-affected eye, text was blurry and I saw what looked like snow (LOADS of dots). It wasn’t that. I could still read with my left eye. Secondly, seeing new floaters doesn’t automatically mean more are coming from a detachment, it can mean larger ones are breaking up.

You can see that the meaning I gave to the floaters changed. First the meaning was something scary. Then, after questioning, the meaning turned into something potentially awesome. If the floaters are breaking up, then they may fall out of my line of sight over time and my vision can clear up over time.

Our anxiety comes from the meaning that we give things we see and experience.

If you have not already, please read my article on “The Real Reason You’re Offended.” I see my floaters as offensive things. If it wasn’t for the scar tissue on my retina causing me new worries, I could perhaps be happy that my vitreous has detached. It happened. It’s done with. Vitreous detachments in my eyes should not affect my retinas any longer (except for the scar tissue they have now left me with).

If my large floaters would break up or I end up having vitrectomy surgery, I should no longer be bothered by floaters. There are other concerns, but floaters would no longer be one of them.

Trying to positively think, if I do have surgery, I’m going to The Retinal Consultants of Minnesota and MN really does collect a lot of quality doctors. I would expect complications from the surgery to happen at less of a degree than going to someone who is not as qualified or as competent.

I have been checking into Byron Katie’s work too. I’ve posted about her before. If you have never watched this video, it’s a fantastically interesting gateway to The Work. The woman goes from fearing Trump (as a scapegoat) to tearing up her sheets of work at the end and saying, “This (her complaint sheet) is all bullshit.”

So I’m attempting to look at my fears and anxiety around my eyes and trying to see how this is benefiting me. It may be the thing in my life that finally gets me to have some emotional breakthrough for my health anxiety. That’s a protentional benefit. It certainly spurs me into taking some positive movements concerning my diet. And like my retinal specialist said, eating healthier is a good thing, even if it doesn’t fix my eyes in particular. But maybe he’s wrong about that not helping as well.

I’m also using hypnotic tracks from Steve G. Jones each night. With enough repetition, I’ve gotten to the point where I can fall asleep⁴ quickly while continuing to still listen to it subconsciously. I’m working with the hypochondria (health anxiety) one right now. A couple of times in the past month my anxiety went up so much I became nauseated. That’s not pleasant.

I’m also looking into why I feel so unsafe and unsupported, and looking for ways to feel more supported.

I have to find a way to balance being alert to changes in vision with being able to relax that everything is okay and not an emergency in the moment. I’m not good with that, but this is forcing me to learn how to do it.

I’m sorry I haven’t been able to write much. I want to find more support (not through Substack) that allows me to relax in some way. I’m not sure how to do it. But I’m working on it.

One thing is getting stuff like the salad pouches and quick healthy meals so I don’t have to spend so much time on making things to eat in order to eat healthy. I think the salad pouches will help a lot and I can talk more about that later when I see how it goes. Just ask me if you’re interested and it’s been a while since I wrote this. I have to look at where my time and energy go.

When I’m not at work, a lot of time is spent preparing food. I will still do some of that. I have vacation time coming up and if I’m not having surgery then I will be able to make some vegan cheeses and pasta sauces and freeze them. Those have been so good to have in bulk in my freezer for easy meals when I am working. I also made a bunch of sourdough discard pancakes and froze those, and sourdough cinnamon rolls. Although they have a bit of sugar in them, they’re more for a single treat after having a day of otherwise eating healthy. And I will cling to the fact that sourdough is already fermented, so it’s better than regular dough.

I want to be able to try to make it so I’m spending less time on cleaning and baking/prepping food, so I have more time to focus on studying and bringing in more money.

I love the 12 basic needs that Tim Fletcher came up with, but I can see that I don’t feel safe because I don’t feel supported, and I need to work on that. There are things we can all do to help fulfill our needs in order to thrive. I feel a bit behind the curve than other people, but at least I have an outline of what I need to do in order to feel better.

1. I wrote about my health anxiety over that detachment (not knowing what it was at the time) in this paid article on my law of attraction Substack.

2. I had a bunch of questions, but I found more things after reading the report that caused me to have more questions. It’s difficult for a patient to know what they should be concerned about. My report says I was told and understood my condition, but by looking at the report I can see things I didn’t hear or didn’t understand in the appointment. I hope to be more prepared this next time.

3. I have more floaters in my left eye than my right eye, but right now if I had surgery it’s probably going to be my right eye so I would still have floaters in the left one.

4. Maybe I don’t actually fall asleep because at the end he has hypnotic suggestions to forget the specifics of what all he’s said, and those may be working.