Discover more from The Drama of It All
Saviors associate having fun with naïvety
Yet, ironically, happiness opens you up to solutions
Dr. Naomi Wolf recently wrote about the people who wanted to lockdown, the joy they got in telling you to pull your mask up, etc.
This corresponds with what I wrote about people playing saviors. Saviors take the weight of the world on their shoulders and won’t allow themselves to have fun. I wrote they believe they have a duty to be unhappy.
They view themselves as being above the “fly-over states” and above the “Trump supporters” of middle America. They look down on us. And, because they look down on us they will never allow themselves to do the things they look down on us for.
Naomi describes all the different clothes, items, and fun that these supposed “elite” are not allowed to have. These things (clothes, items, fun) that they associate with the “lessers” can be associated with any of them if they partake in it. They use the guilt-by-association fallacy on themselves too.
They think of themselves as “higher” than others. They believe they are doing the “important” work. They think of themselves as being more highly educated, which means they see others as more stupid. So if someone “stupid” is hanging out and having fun over beers, they think that that action is not okay for them to do, because if they did it then they’d be stupid too. It’s not logical. It’s emotional.
They view the rest of us as “victims” who may be the result of a poor educational system (which they would like to “fix”). They view Trump Supporters as both “victims” (to his big lie and more), and “persecutors” (because they think voting for Trump will harm others). I’ve talked about how they view them as persecutors before. But it’s true that they also see many as “victims” of dis- and misinformation from Trump and Fox News, etc.
When they look down on people, it is because they do not see them as having the same agency or ability to be responsible as they view themselves as having. They don’t view us on the same level. The drama triangle has different levels. You could also view it as them taking on the parent role and talking down to others as if they were children.
The savior role can often go alongside playing the “adult” role to children (who would need some sort of guidance). That is, when you play savior you believe the “victim” you are trying to protect is like a child, unable to protect themselves, or unable to come to logical good decisions for themselves.
They like the idea of acting like a parent and taking care of others, but it also means they view having fun as something a child would do and they think they’ve “matured” past that now. They associate having fun (in a world with so many problems) with a naïve mindset of a child. They get some sort of emotional boost of being the “adult in the room” that they would not let themselves be seen as childish.
My theory is that a lot of Democrats come from families in which they felt unloved, or abused in some way. They tend to often have a desire to “save” which comes from being parentified in some way when they were young.
I was parentified in some ways where I had to act like the adult and wake my mother and brother up for school. I know that the parentification led to me taking on the “savior” role in the drama triangle a lot as an adult. Obviously, I have figured this out and exited that drama triangle as I matured. But many people don’t mature or figure it out.
Because they didn’t feel loved when growing up, they got their sense of love through narcissistic supply playing the “savior” or parent figure.
If you read Naomi’s article, you’ll also see that they don’t truly love each other either. If you would look down on someone because they didn’t get the vaccine, wear a mask, or if they drank a beer, or wore the wrong shirt, you aren’t having real authentic relationships. The reason for that is in those situations, no one is being themselves. When everyone is putting on a facade or “mask” to fit in, it means no one is seeing each other as they truly are.
People in the fear response (fight/flight/freeze/fawn) can’t think very well. They make illogical decisions. Can you see that if you’re worried about wearing the wrong shirt or getting snide remarks or looks from others (supposedly friends) for stepping into wrongthink, you’re basically still in an emotionally abusive relationship?
They haven’t healed from their past, which is why they are still attracting these fake relationships where they’re walking on eggshells.
I’ve written on my other substack about how Joy was the Truckers’ magic. There is power in happiness. There is powerlessness in the drama triangle. No one in the drama triangle is happy. There’s a reason for that. You can’t feel powerless and happy at the same time. And, regardless of “saviors” trying to do things to “save” people they ultimately feel as if the “persecutor” is winning because they always self-sabotage.
It’s ironic that they feel as if they are better than other people because they are willing to sacrifice their joy to help save the world when real solutions come through happiness instead.
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