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Trans Widows Aren't Victims
Trans Widows Had a Choice In Who They Married
I’ve seen the discussion about Chris Tyson (who works with Mr. Beast of YouTube fame) starting Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) to attempt to look more feminine. I’ve seen some comments about his “poor wife and child.” As I said in a previous substack article, children are the victims of poor parenting because the children cannot take personal responsibility until they literally can. It sucks for the child to grow up in a home where one parent is rejecting being the father figure.
But the wife is a completely different story. Do I view her as a “victim” to her husband deciding to give up his role as a husband (vs. being a partner)? No. She willfully married him. She chose him for her own reasons.
Because so many people are attempting to “transition” to another “gender” these days, it was bound to happen to people who are in marriages. Some of the women who are married to men who do this call themselves Trans Widows. I empathize that it’s a tough life to be married to someone who basically is dying to their old self and attempting to be born anew as someone else.
I was in a relationship with someone when I did a 180°. I remember saying to him that I basically had a “born again” Christian experience and I wouldn’t be doing what I used to do. We had common thoughts when we got together and because of those common beliefs and thoughts, we used to have common activities. Because of the 180° pivot, I wouldn’t engage in those any longer. Though it took a long time to die, the relationship ended because I wasn’t the person he had gotten involved with any longer. I take responsibility for that and it was the best thing for me.
I used to be stuck in the drama triangle. And when you’re stuck in the drama triangle you attract and are attracted to people who will also play around with you in the drama triangle. If someone won’t play drama triangle games with you, then you will label them a “persecutor” or be completely uninterested in them. The people who you get attracted to are going to be as messed up as you are basically because they are a reflection of you at the point you meet & connect with them.
When you let go of your drama-triangle ways of thinking of things, take personal responsibility, and expect personal responsibility of others, others (still stuck in the drama triangle) will be confused by your change in personality. They’ll wonder why you won’t complain with them or why you won’t sympathize with others in the same way. You might start to expect more from them, and they might start to see you as a “persecutor” yourself.
People who like to “play victim” want to complain about their “persecutors” with like-minded friends & lovers. People who like to “play savior” like to talk about helping “victims” and make enjoy going to rallies or marches together. As soon as someone stops taking part in the drama triangle, every other drama-filled person in their life will be confused as to how to relate to them any longer.
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe & Your Vibe Repels Those Not of Your Tribe
As people evolve and mature, they start taking more personal responsibility and they start shedding their drama-filled friends, acquaintances, and lovers. And if people devolve and start taking a victim-consciousness or cult-like mentality dehumanizing others who think differently, they too will shed their non-drama-filled friends.
As Josh of theand podcast says, having a change in your sense of self that can allow you to switch from feeling one gender or another is a symptom of a psychological issue. It won’t be the only symptom. Any spouse of a person like this will have noticed red flags and ignored them. Why would anyone ignore red flags? Because they’re simply too attracted to the person. Why would you be attracted to this? Because there’s a part of yourself that is being mirrored in it.
It can be difficult to admit to yourself, which means most people don’t want to talk about it with others. But I know this is what happened to me and it makes complete sense. Because of my past, I overlooked major red flags that no one else would have ignored. I was messed up. I healed. Then I left the relationship and attracted better relationships. That’s how life is supposed to go.
I believe that children of abuse (in whatever way it gets defined) will try to find love from the same abnormal relationships from their past with different people. We keep attracting what we struggled with when we were younger, and the universe or God or life keeps giving us these same scenarios until we heal ourselves.
When we heal ourselves, we will leave the relationship or our personal change will cause others to leave us. I think many relationships are doomed because some people are hitting rock bottom and learning that they are not in congruent relationships. At the same time, many people are going down a rabbit hole of gender ideology, politics, and/or CRT and becoming enamored with the victim or savior mentality. Those sorts will turn on anyone who doesn’t agree with their drama narrative.
Trans Widows / Widowers
Anyone who is in a relationship with someone who is going down this trans-rabbit hole will either be somewhat supportive because they have some of the same traits as their spouse, or this will be a hitting rock-bottom kind of moment and they will have to leave the relationship. Good counseling might help, but we have a lack of good counselors, especially depending on if there are laws against “conversion therapy” getting in the way of helpful discourse.
I sympathize with someone hitting rock bottom and needing to leave someone they love. I still love my ex. It sucks. But it’s for the best to get away.
No, it is not in the best interest of the child to stay in the relationship just to not have a split home. It’s clearly a personality-disordered household if this happened. No child should grow up with their mother or father staying with their spouse in an abusive relationship just to keep the family together. It’s child abuse because it teaches the child that it’s “love” to let yourself be emotionally, mentally, or physically beaten. That’s not a good lesson.
Everyone has the ability to heal themselves and escape the drama triangle. It’s not easy. But it’s worth it. As I said I sympathize with these people. But they’re not victims of circumstances beyond their control. I think it’s worth remembering that.