👍 Though "dysfunctional" and "families" are kind of joined at the hip, even if some are worse than others -- Manson's for example.
But reminds me of a classic case, of a book I have on my bookshelves, "Running With Scissors". Something of a gift from one of my siblings if I remember correctly -- maybe they were trying to tell me something ... 😉🙂
I just looked at what that book is about, and once again, I feel like minimizing what I went through in comparison to such a wild ride by some.
The memories of my childhood make it seem pretty uneventful. It helps to list it out like bulletpoints here to know it all adds up to something. The invisible trauma seems the hardest to accept.
What looks like a minor detail in the rearview mirror is often virtually the whole world to those experiencing it in the foreground or the middle of the road.
Another Christmas tale in the same vein, and my conversation with the author of it, that you might have some interest in:
When some of the emotions, like being overwhelmed and angry, came up in me as I pondered this, I thought to myself, "this is a part of how I felt as a child and I am having difficulty keeping myself together as an adult. It is no wonder I did not want to deal with these emotions as a child who had no idea what to do with them and didn't feel safe having them at all."
And, considering that, I probably have a lot more hurt feelings that need to arise, so not looking forward to that, except that by releasing it and being less emotionally shut down, I am allowing my future self the opportunity to feel better emotions at some point.
I read that linked story. It was depressing. I also thought that lying to children about Santa is wrong. I do have judgements about people lying to children. I did think that it was horrible and would turn children away from God. I do believe Christians promoting Santa is taking God's name in vain.
As a child I was told at Easter because my mother had not bought treats yet. We had to go shopping and she had to take me and I would know where the treats came from. It probably is another example of my mother being overwhelmed (without my dad being able to help). I told my brother I got to go shopping with the Easter Bunny, but that probably ruined it for him too, lol. Still the main problem with that is parents lying to children and them being shocked that their children grow up and lie right back to them. We need to do better. I do wish people would stop lying to their kids.
That "lying to kids" is probably the kicker, the take-home message from that other post.
Though something we all do all the time to a greater or lesser extent, often of necessity. The trick is maybe in knowing when and how to leave the things of childhood behind. But that was and is part and parcel of an earlier essay of mine on Medium, since ported over to Substack:
Steersman: Reality & Illusion: Being vs Identifying As; Substance vs Appearance
Arguably or at best, "Santa Claus" isn't actually or entirely a matter of "lying to kids", just framing "reality" in terms that they are most likely to grasp easily. Even if there's some pain that follows on being told that the tale isn't "quite accurate".
Arguably, the same with religion -- rather hard to grasp, with hands or words, the unnamable and the ineffable. Reminds me of some words of wisdom -- on the subway walls and tenement halls, and, in my case, classroom walls: "Man's reach must exceed his grasp else what is heaven for?"
👍 Though "dysfunctional" and "families" are kind of joined at the hip, even if some are worse than others -- Manson's for example.
But reminds me of a classic case, of a book I have on my bookshelves, "Running With Scissors". Something of a gift from one of my siblings if I remember correctly -- maybe they were trying to tell me something ... 😉🙂
Thanks for reading and commenting.
I just looked at what that book is about, and once again, I feel like minimizing what I went through in comparison to such a wild ride by some.
The memories of my childhood make it seem pretty uneventful. It helps to list it out like bulletpoints here to know it all adds up to something. The invisible trauma seems the hardest to accept.
What looks like a minor detail in the rearview mirror is often virtually the whole world to those experiencing it in the foreground or the middle of the road.
Another Christmas tale in the same vein, and my conversation with the author of it, that you might have some interest in:
https://www.brookhines.com/p/when-i-learned-santa-doesnt-operate/comment/191417312
When some of the emotions, like being overwhelmed and angry, came up in me as I pondered this, I thought to myself, "this is a part of how I felt as a child and I am having difficulty keeping myself together as an adult. It is no wonder I did not want to deal with these emotions as a child who had no idea what to do with them and didn't feel safe having them at all."
And, considering that, I probably have a lot more hurt feelings that need to arise, so not looking forward to that, except that by releasing it and being less emotionally shut down, I am allowing my future self the opportunity to feel better emotions at some point.
I read that linked story. It was depressing. I also thought that lying to children about Santa is wrong. I do have judgements about people lying to children. I did think that it was horrible and would turn children away from God. I do believe Christians promoting Santa is taking God's name in vain.
As a child I was told at Easter because my mother had not bought treats yet. We had to go shopping and she had to take me and I would know where the treats came from. It probably is another example of my mother being overwhelmed (without my dad being able to help). I told my brother I got to go shopping with the Easter Bunny, but that probably ruined it for him too, lol. Still the main problem with that is parents lying to children and them being shocked that their children grow up and lie right back to them. We need to do better. I do wish people would stop lying to their kids.
That "lying to kids" is probably the kicker, the take-home message from that other post.
Though something we all do all the time to a greater or lesser extent, often of necessity. The trick is maybe in knowing when and how to leave the things of childhood behind. But that was and is part and parcel of an earlier essay of mine on Medium, since ported over to Substack:
Steersman: Reality & Illusion: Being vs Identifying As; Substance vs Appearance
https://humanuseofhumanbeings.substack.com/p/reality-and-illusion-being-vs-identifying
Arguably or at best, "Santa Claus" isn't actually or entirely a matter of "lying to kids", just framing "reality" in terms that they are most likely to grasp easily. Even if there's some pain that follows on being told that the tale isn't "quite accurate".
Arguably, the same with religion -- rather hard to grasp, with hands or words, the unnamable and the ineffable. Reminds me of some words of wisdom -- on the subway walls and tenement halls, and, in my case, classroom walls: "Man's reach must exceed his grasp else what is heaven for?"