Why Are We So Drawn To & Energized By Drama?

Is it a desire for justice or so-called "righteous" indignation?

Some drama popped up on the sidelines of my life. I say “sidelines” because I wouldn’t be considered a part of it. I wouldn’t be playing or cast as a persecutor, victim, or savior. But I can see the people who would be. And, I’m not going to be able to go about my life without knowing what happens in the drama.

Why The Interest In Drama?

I noticed a part of myself becoming interested in what happens; the same kind of intrigue you get when watching a good TV show. I was curious with myself. I don’t want to have a drama-filled life. So I asked myself, “Why?”

Time Flies

Turning your life into a drama makes time fly by just like when you are binge-watching a TV series. Since I do get bored sometimes, this can be helpful.

Desire For Justice

In this particular case, from my perspective, someone had responsibility and was not living up to it. I would imagine if you read my Substack you would agree I have a pretty level head about that, so I hope you can take my word on it. Negative consequences ensued (time and time again). I’ve heard complaints for months, if not over a year. Rather than shower the person with blessings (something like that happened), I would like someone to enforce a boundary and say this is not right.

It sounds like that may happen this time. I’d like to see it happen, which makes watching it more “exciting.”

What It All Means

I think it’s natural to want someone who has evaded responsibility to have to face the music, so to speak. But, not everyone is as level-headed as I am. Some people are very bored (with first-world problems). A combination of people who are bored of their own lives without drama and narcissism can lead a person to want to play “Savior” or “Rescuer” and look for victims (problems) where they don’t exist.

A “Rescuer” will look for injustice until they find something that resembles it and also gives them a way to cloak their narcissistic desire to look good as the societally approved desire to do good.

Is it “Righteous” Indignation or Justice?

If you feel as if you want someone to get comeuppance, you should ask yourself if this is because it’s just (moral/right), or if the feeling is so-called “Righteous” Indignation. I’ve written about that before in my article Now I’ve Got You, You SOB Cancel Culture. I’ll copy and paste a tiny bit of it below.

From How To Break Free of the Drama Triangle and Victim Consciousness¹ by Barry & Janae Weinhold, PhDs.

“The Persecutor is the bad-guy role in the Drama Triangle. Most people avoid it unless they have a need to vent “justified” negative feelings such as anger or rage. In these instances, they must identify some excuse to feel justified or right so they can express their negative feelings. Once they have a good reason for making someone bad, they can dump their repressed feelings. This is one of the Persecutor payoffs. Righteous indignation, the most common form of Persecutor behavior, puts others down by using guilt and shame. Here’s a summary of the Persecutor role.

• Sets unnecessarily restrictive rules and limits.

• Blames others for whatever happens.

• Criticizes all actions of others.

• Keeps the Victim oppressed.

• Expresses justified and righteous anger.

• Uses guilt and shame to put another person down.

• Provokes conflict and drama.

• Takes a rigid, authoritative stance.

• Acts and sounds like a Critical Parent.

• Comes from an I’m okay/good, you’re not okay/bad position.

The Payoff: They get to be right and therefore justified in releasing pentup emotions. The Persecutor role allows a player to remain in control and dominate others. When someone rejects the heavy-handed behavior and expresses justified anger in return, this catapults them into the Victim and Victim Consciousness.”

Ask Yourself, “Is this pent-up emotion?”

You will have to be honest with yourself. If you want someone to get comeuppance, is your emotion due solely to this incident or is it pent-up emotion involving other incidents? Are you wanting to take out your frustrations with other people onto a scapegoat or a single “persecutor” while ignoring the other people who angered you?

I think most people who claim to have “righteous indignation” fall into that category. It goes back to cloaking their anger into something that is viewed as “okay” by polite society.

People will lie to themselves as well. You have to truly want the truth and be honest with yourself. We would all be better off if we actually wanted to know why we feel and do the things we do. But it’s scary for some.

I felt guilty when I first started to be interested. There was a surge of energy. I didn’t sleep much, but I felt more awake and alive than I had been earlier. It scared me. But I have a desire to be authentic, know myself, and look into why I feel as I do and what those feelings are. So I dove into the feelings with the question, “Why?” I have been wondering about the meaning of life lately. I’ve been asking myself about the point to getting up in the morning and living my life, “What am I doing that means something today?” Having a reason to wake up and something to look forward to can grant a little meaning. I think that’s all it is for me today, another interesting thing to look forward to after I wake up in the morning, like a TV show ending on a cliffhanger.

Knowing (because I was mindful and asked myself questions) actually causes the fear to go away. It’s no longer scary. I’m not worried this means I’m going to get caught up in drama that I should stay away from.

I would suggest you ask yourself “Why?” in the same manner the next time you’re in a similar situation. You’ll learn more about yourself. And any fear you have can dissipate when you actually know more. We’re afraid because of ignorance. When that disappears, fear can as well.

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