I really like your point about how difficult it can be to discover your own preferences, particularly when you’ve made a habit of (internally or externally) saying something like “what I want doesn’t matter.”
“Selfishness” is often used as a throwaway insult to describe someone who puts little thought into how their actions affect others, but I think this is a mistake because it overlooks the genuine difficulty of discovering what values and pursuits are actually good for you. Thanks for the article.
Thanks for commenting and letting me know that you enjoyed the article. The use of the word "selfish" is very subjective. People have different beliefs about what is and is not selfish. For instance, a 2020 example, someone may say a person is "selfish" for not wearing a mask because supposedly the person could be spreading disease. But that maskless person could call the mask enforcer selfish because they're trying to force another's behavior in an attempt to not catch a disease. I wrote about that in "Are You Really Coming From a Place of Love?" https://www.thedramaofitall.com/p/are-you-really-coming-from-a-place?r=l1st4
It's very important to take care of yourself, your needs and preferences first, before others because if you don't, you're going to be trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip so to speak. We know this when it comes to putting on our oxygen masks first before helping children and the elderly on an airplane. Yet, people ignore the advice in their day-to-day lives.
I really like your point about how difficult it can be to discover your own preferences, particularly when you’ve made a habit of (internally or externally) saying something like “what I want doesn’t matter.”
“Selfishness” is often used as a throwaway insult to describe someone who puts little thought into how their actions affect others, but I think this is a mistake because it overlooks the genuine difficulty of discovering what values and pursuits are actually good for you. Thanks for the article.
Thanks for commenting and letting me know that you enjoyed the article. The use of the word "selfish" is very subjective. People have different beliefs about what is and is not selfish. For instance, a 2020 example, someone may say a person is "selfish" for not wearing a mask because supposedly the person could be spreading disease. But that maskless person could call the mask enforcer selfish because they're trying to force another's behavior in an attempt to not catch a disease. I wrote about that in "Are You Really Coming From a Place of Love?" https://www.thedramaofitall.com/p/are-you-really-coming-from-a-place?r=l1st4
I've also written about the benefits of putting yourself first, and others second in my article, "Contrary to Popular Belief Narcissists Don't Love Themselves": https://www.thedramaofitall.com/p/contrary-to-popular-beliefs-narcissists?r=l1st4
It's very important to take care of yourself, your needs and preferences first, before others because if you don't, you're going to be trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip so to speak. We know this when it comes to putting on our oxygen masks first before helping children and the elderly on an airplane. Yet, people ignore the advice in their day-to-day lives.
Nice article Barbara... (do we still write articles?) I think that Democrats hate boundaries too, at least the ones who occupy the white house.
Article seems a good enough word for it. I think some Republicans don't like boundaries as well, but it just seems worse in the Democrat party.