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Discussing The Drama Triangle on The Disaffected Podcast

This is a 2022 video discussion with Josh Slocum of the Disaffected Podcast

I got a chance to speak with Joshua Slocum of the Disaffected Podcast. You can read his substack here: Disaffected Newsletter. In this article, I wanted to give links for people to personally research more about the things I discussed with him. If you found the discussion interesting and want to learn more, please read on. The following video is the full podcast episode.

The Drama Triangle

I started out explaining the Karpman Drama Triangle. Stephen Karpman described the dramatic unhealthy ways in which we interact with each other. The 3 roles are Persecutor, Victim, and Rescuer/Savior. People take on these roles like actors in order to extract sympathy, social credit, or narcissistic supply. People can switch from one role to another quickly and it’s often those who think they’re trying to be the good guys and “saving” people who turn into the worst authoritarians. We had some good discussions on that.

Forced Masking

One of the most recent examples of trying to “save” people who never asked for it is all of the mandates for masks and vaccines. The clearest example is masking because after the mask mandate went away for airlines most people decided to not wear them. This clearly shows that if there was never a mandate then people wouldn’t have voluntarily worn masks. You can extrapolate that most (if not all) of those people never appreciated the mandates. They never asked for or desired other people to wear masks to protect them. They were taking personal responsibility for their own health and didn’t need to shift the responsibility for their health to other people.

As I discussed with Josh, when someone tries to “save” another who never asked for saving, they often become the “persecutor.” If you have not read what it was like for people with glasses, and people who couldn’t hear, to be in an environment in which they were forced to wear masks, you should read this story from Holly.

Holly’s Substack
The Medical Profession Is Utterly Screwed
This morning, a freak occurrence gave me a powerful lesson in how completely, totally, thoroughly, and utterly fucked the medical profession is, and likely will be, for some time. I’m more frustrated by my own reactions than I am over the fact that I’ve almost certainly hit my insurance-out-of-pocket for the year when the bill arrives…
Read more

It had to be an absolutely terrifying position to be in. Dr. Mark Changizi also talked about how the risk of falls increased with masks.

Mark Changizi Newsletter
Rise in falls suspiciously time-locked to masking, as I predicted in my very first Covid Moment in November of 2020
Graph by Team Reality Karl Dierenbach indicating that the rise of worldwide masking appears to coincide with an increase in injuries from falls, as I predicted in my first Science Moment in the endless Covid season…
Read more

People tried to “save” others by forcing masks on everyone, but those people never realized they were acting like the “persecutors” making life much more difficult for everyone and not really helping much either.


I mentioned abortion on the show and the dehumanization of the fetus that some people do and I have written about how it relates to the drama triangle here where I compared it to the mandatory-vaccine issues. When people dehumanize others into insects, like parasites or MAGAts, it shows that they have placed those people into the “persecutor” role.

The Way Out of the Drama Triangle

To exit the drama triangle you must take personal responsibility for yourself and allow other people to take responsibility for themselves. To try to get somebody else out of the drama triangle, would be to jump back in yourself to try to “save” them. They have to make that decision on their own, willingly. Feel free to help people when they ask for help. But sometimes you have to just back away and let other people deal with things themselves when they clearly don’t want your help. When they do finally hit rock bottom, they will start to take personal responsibility and become free also.

The Drama of It All
Taking Personal Responsibility Frees & Empowers Us
Originally published on on 7/11/22. The United States is supposed to be the land of the free and the home of the brave and I look around me and see most are slaves, and they’re not brave. Bravery is defined as having the mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty. When the going gets tough, too often we blame someone else…
Read more

The Woke Religion

In the conversation, I also discussed Michael Shellenberger and Peter Boghossian’s chart called Woke Religion: A Taxonomy. This chart is a fantastic resource. You can download the PDF I shared from the following substack article:

Beyond Woke with Peter Boghossian
Woke Religion: A Taxonomy
Michael Shellenberger and I wrote “Woke Religion: A Taxonomy” to help people understand the woke religion. I want to be crystal clear about something: bigotry and racial discrimination are real and they have no place in society. Yes, there is ongoing racism. Yes, there is ongoing homophobia. Yes, there is ongoing hatred of trans people. These are morall…
Read more


Besides speaking about the Drama Triangle, and how it relates to “the woke,” I also discussed miswanting. You can download this PDF on Miswanting from Harvard Library for more information on that. Miswanting: Some Problems in the Forecasting of Future Affective States

A while back, I took a free online course from Yale at Coursera. The course is called The Science of Well-Being and it explains why we become unhappy and gives proven tips on how to increase happiness (called well-being). There were a couple of studies and charts in the course I found particularly interesting concerning the discussion on “gender-affirming” surgeries. I wanted to discuss those studies on the show and link to them below. When I took the course, no one was suggesting that we should theorize that the same results would be found in those who identify as transgender. And I agree with Josh, I don’t think those studies would be allowed. But these studies were, so here they are.

Life Satisfaction Study

The first study was about life satisfaction increasing when in the engaged-to-be-married phase. During the time before marriage, everyone is celebrating. There is so much excitement in planning a new life and a lot of attention is being given to the engaged couple, it’s a bit like they’re being love bombed. But after the marriage and honeymoon, the couple has to get back to the real world without that extra attention and planning and they have to execute their plans now rather than simply dream about the future. When that happens, in the average person life satisfaction goes back to the baseline again.

Reexamining adaptation and the set point model of happiness: reactions to changes in marital status

Richard E Lucas, Andrew E Clark, Yannis Georgellis, Ed Diener

From the abstract of the above study: “According to adaptation theory, individuals react to events but quickly adapt back to baseline levels of subjective well-being. To test this idea, the authors used data from a 15-year longitudinal study of over 24.000 individuals to examine the effects of marital transitions on life satisfaction. On average, individuals reacted to events and then adapted back toward baseline levels.”

There were some people who had some extra-lasting satisfaction, but that was not the average result. My theory is that people are enjoying the planning and love bombing and when that goes away most people go back to baseline. There is even more love bombing and celebration today with people who announce they will be having “gender affirmation” surgery. The results of a new study (if allowed) could prove to have an even higher high before surgery, and perhaps a lower low after surgery.

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Cosmetic Surgery

The next study that I discussed was about the results on mental health that cosmetic surgery had.

Predictors of cosmetic surgery and its effects on psychological factors and mental health: a population-based follow-up study among Norwegian females

T von Soest, I L Kvalem, L Wichstrøm

The conclusion of the study was, “A series of mental health symptoms predict cosmetic surgery. Cosmetic surgery does not in turn seem to alleviate such mental health problems.”

Too often we think something is going to make us feel better in the long run but we are miswanting. I think we can extrapolate that those who think they want “gender-affirmation” surgeries may be more likely to be those people with mental health symptoms, to begin with, and that actually having the surgeries can be harmful to their mental health. So I believe they are miswanting the surgery. I think it’s very dangerous that people in our government (like Rachel Levine) are likely mistaken (miswanting) in the same way.

My Previous Work On These Subjects

I have previously written about miswanting and how the belief in gendered souls is basically a gnostic religion, including the belief in being born again. I don’t mind that people have different religions and belief systems, but I don’t believe we should be teaching children in public schools the idea of “gendered souls” as if it was fact, rather than part of a belief system.

The Drama of It All
Miswanting, the Honeymoon Effect, and "Gender Affirmation"
Miswanting Marriage Many people feel like getting married would solve their loneliness problems. They may even think it will solve their financial situation. They feel as if they’re missing something. They predict that marriage will fill that hole inside of them…
Read more

If you’re interested in the subject of responsibility shifting and how it relates to the topic of transgenderism, you may also enjoy my article about using “preferred pronouns.”

Thanks for watching my appearance on the Disaffected Podcast and thanks for looking more into these subjects. I feel the world would be much better off if people understood these Drama Triangle dynamics and understood how important it is to question beliefs.

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The Drama of It All
The Drama of It All Podcast
This substack is devoted to sharing my perspective of the "woke" drama triangle games people play today. Everyone's playing these games, you may as well understand them so that you can extricate yourself from the drama. Knowledge is power.