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Democrats Can Be Codependent Nightmares
The desire to "save" people just to look caring can be detrimental
There can be some overlap between people who feel the need to take on the “Savior” role in the Drama Triangle and those whom we would call narcissists. This is, of course, because so many people try to “save” others so that they will be looked up to and thought of as “special.” They want to be seen as “above” others (the people they’re out there trying to “Save”). If someone views another as a “Victim” needing “Saving” then they have already made the decision they are better than them. That’s why CRT is a white supremacist belief.
I’ve written about how narcissists are made in a previous article. They grew up in an environment in which they were not mirrored correctly, and have found it difficult to truly love themselves unconditionally. Instead, they throw conditions on themselves and feel they need to be seen as good, smart, and/or strong, etc. by others in order to feel loved. That’s not true. They just don’t know how to fill their need to be loved in the correct manner. Whatever they try never works because it never fills that hole inside that only they can fill.
But, a lot of the time these narcissistic people want to play “Savior” to be seen as loving towards those whom they see as needing “help.” Each role in the Drama Triangle relies on there being other roles which means they are co-dependent. A “Savior” needs a “Victim” to save, and they need to be mad at someone, so they need a “Persecutor” even if they have to make one up.
I’ve said before that most of us get drawn into the Drama Triangle at some point. Yes, some are drawn in more than others, and it depends on the subject too. I still have tendencies to get mad at others when I shouldn’t (in a situation where I just didn’t want to take responsibility for what I could have done differently). It doesn’t matter what political party you are in, your sex, etc. It happens to the best of us.
But, I do think, for the most part much of the Democratic party in the US takes on this “Savior” role more than Republicans and for sure more than Libertarians. I wonder if there’s ever been a study on that. If you know of one I’d love to see it. Mention it in the comments.
I was watching this video, linked to below, on co-dependents and was thinking so often, this could be about the Democratic party. The reason why there is such a correlation is because the Democratic party wants the government to take on the “Savior” role to save “Victims.” The other political parties in the US want far less government involvement and to let people be free to take personal responsibility and “save” themselves.
She says this desire to save others is an identity and it gives them a purpose for a little while. They really do see it as an identity. I know people have had an identity crisis when they stopped seeing themselves as a Democrat because they don’t know who they are if that’s the case. So often they demonize Republicans and/or Libertarians as “evil” and they won’t stop seeing themselves as wanting to help others and being caring, but they don’t know where they fit in politically any longer.
Seeing yourself as a “Savior” and helper of sorts can be an identity that is hard to break away from, especially if you are trying to look like a “Savior” to feel as if you are worth loving. When people were mandated to wear masks, they wanted to use it as a signal that they were “good.” When they no longer were mandated to wear them, a lot of Democrats wanted to keep wearing them because they didn’t want to be seen as an anti-masker (whom they’d incorrectly demonized as not loving). In their minds to not wear a mask would be to signal that they were not as loving as those who continued to wear masks. It can be a difficult habit to break because no one desires to be seen as evil and uncaring.
These sorts of people are playing a part in order to try to get social points in order to try to feel loved because they don’t feel loved. What’s sad is that they’re not looking for real help on that front. And if someone doesn’t want to fix their problem enough, they won’t. So there’s nothing much we can do.
But I write about this so that you will better understand them and what is behind the scenes. If you believe in prayer or positive thinking, you can pray or meditate on them feeling more loved in the future. A person who feels loved will no longer try to act out in order to get that feeling. A person who feels powerful no longer tries to control others in order to feel safe. We want them to feel powerful and loved, so they’ll stop trying to “Save” us.
The problem with being in a co-dependent relationship (needing others to be victims) is that your actions trying to “Save” them have a subconscious desire to never let them be truly saved. I don’t believe people are out there consciously trying to ruin their own plans, especially if they’re a narcissist who might worry about looking like they made a mistake and did a piss-poor job. Of course, they often will simply refuse to take responsibility and shift the responsibility onto others to avoid looking bad.
The plans put into place by our US Government to try to “save” the poor, through things like welfare, and to better the schools with taxes, etc. never seem to really solve anything because the “Victims” want to stay in their victim status subconsciously and the “Saviors” want to stay in their savior status subconsciously. (I’m not saying everyone who ever takes help from the government misuses the help and stays in a bad situation - just so many do that the overall effect is no change or things getting worse.)
The no-longer-poor would have an identity crisis if they ever stopped needing to be saved and often don’t want to let that go. You can also see that with those who complain about racism today. We were far better off in the 1990s than the 1950s. But now so many want to complain as if nothing ever changed because they like that victim mentality.
Our government cannot keep handing out fish and expecting there to be less looking for a handout the next day. We should start to teach people how to fish. Knowledge is way more important than a steady supply of money.
But the government informing people wouldn’t solve anything long term either. What we really need is a generation of parents giving loving homes to their children (so they don’t grow up to be narcissistic) and teaching personal responsibility again. It’s the only way out of the Drama Triangle.
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